TRIGGERY STUFF FOR CUTTING? YEAH?
Okay so like I cut again a few nights ago and it wasn’t great and I went deeper then usual and bled for ages but that meant that I forgot to put away my blade and as such when I was awake the next morning got to throw it away (i have issues remembering things from the nights that I self mutilate)
Which is fantastic because that means I actually have to go out and buy more if I want to do anything like that which I probably wont do though I do want to buy a pretty knife soon which could be bad.
But its my way of calming myself down at night when I’m all wired and awake and shit so I’m wired and awake and my thoughts are racing and its terrible but i have absolutely no idea what to do so im freaking out about not having a blade to mutilate with and not sure what else I could do.
I need a more non destructive means of relaxation.