I think you’re a bit confused; this did not originally come from me. (For one thing I would never, even jokingly, advocate violence.) All the woman I know will comment on men or woman that they think are attractive.I’ll deconstruct just
don’t say “cute” at a woman walking in in her neighborhood at 1:00 in the morning.
- it’s creepy as fuck
- it’s disrespectful
- I will punch you in the face
Simply because I am walking on a street does not mean that I want, deserve, or demand comments on…
twothree things, because this human being is just Not Getting It.
I agree that your body is not public property, but
That’s big of you. Really. You’re a big person for agreeing to that very basic tenet! Good on you. Also, do you know what? (x) I’m pretty sure that’s true in this case, too.
…in commenting on your appearance he was in no way violating your self-ownership. I can remark on the sky? Does that imply that I own the sky? Of course not. I can comment on a car. Should my comment be interpreted as staking claim to the car? Also, no. Commenting on the aesthetic of something is not an ownership claim, and I see no reason why people would be exempt from that rule of thumb.
So, women are like cars, or like the sky. Things. That you feel you can comment on. To their faces. You know, the sky doesn’t have a face. Cars don’t have faces. People have faces, though. And I would never, ever, ever tell some random woman “~cute” to her face at 1am. It’s obviously a douche-move that carries behind it all the power and implications of rape culture.
Icing on the cake, though? This:
but your comedic overreaction to the situation makes you entirely unsympathetic.
oh, tone arguments are so 2006.
I’m sorry, what? So, what about men that you comment on? All the woman I know will comment on men or woman that they think are attractive. That is how we find partners. We compliment them and charm them.
Sure, he was creepy, that probably just means he is socially awkward. You called him an asshole, he fucked off. Great. He knows you aren’t interested, and exhibited the correct response to that.
Men can comment on woman, as woman can comment on men. (and men on men, woman on woman, genderqueer on anybody, anybody on genderqueer, Iono) It’s when you say you aren’t interested and they keep on bugging you that the problem arises.
Genuinely, I felt you overreacted originally, but I understood how you felt. This is a bit insane. Also, animals have faces. you tell animals cute to their face. I tell my rat he is cute all the fucking time. Am I objectifying him? No, no I am not. He is not an object. He has a face and I tell him he is cute. If I see a cute dog in the park, I will ask the owner if I am allowed to pet him/her, and then pet said dog, and call them cute and so on.
I just.. argh. People have every right to comment on other people. You commented on that creepy guy. You called him an asshole. I just called him creepy. It’s what we do, as people.
I’m not saying you can’t comment on people — I comment on hot actors and actresses I’ll never meet all the time. I tell my friends they’re cute, the hot shit, adnasuem. That’s a mile away from commenting on an unknown person to their face — especially at 2am while alone. This simply can’t be taken out of its context: a male-dominated society.
To make this clearer: I would never go up to a random man in the middle of the street in broad daylight and say “hey hottie.” Friend, sure. Now, even if I did do that, it probably wouldn’t be taken as aggressive or invasive by the majority of men — I’m short and never lifted a weight a day in my life. I still wouldn’t do it though, because I don’t know him and don’t want to be a fucking douche. So I cannot see how you fail to understand that the unfortunate societal difference in social status and difference in physical ability make this sort of thing fucking creepy as hell, and something assholes to do reassure themselves they can say and do anything they want to women.
….that was me being nice. Then I read the rest of what you had to say.
I tell my rat he is cute all the fucking time. Am I objectifying him? No, no I am not. He is not an object.
I’m glad you realize that women aren’t objects like the sky, and instead are like your rat. Really. So glad. Ladies, we’re moving on up!
Yeah, sorry about that. I thought you were the OP.
Um, okay, the rat thing wasn’t fully thought out, and rather sleep deprived-ly written.
First things first though; I am a woman. Don’t you dare suggest I am saying that woman (or men) are worth less than an animal, or equal to an animal. They may be worth more on a personal level (eg, somebody who I don’t like is worth less to me than my pet rat, no matter their gender), but humans are, in general, worth kind of more than other animals.
The argument Iw as trying to make was that having a face isn’t special, and that commenting on something with a face is not objectifying. Saying “my god, you’re cute!” is not objectifying, whether you say it to a woman, man, rat, dog, fish, whatever (unless it is said in such a way that it is, like in a derogatory way, but yknow.)
I’m still kind of not understanding why you thought I am a man. Maybe it’s the whole nerd-ness and being in the process of obtaining a computer science degree, and not agreeing 100% with all feminists who ever existed. I’ll try and be more womanly, yeah? Do an arts degree, go and work in a flower shop :D