I think you’re a bit confused; this did not originally come from me. (For one thing I would never, even jokingly, advocate violence.) All the woman I know will comment on men or woman that they think are attractive.I’ll deconstruct just
don’t say “cute” at a woman walking in in her neighborhood at 1:00 in the morning.
- it’s creepy as fuck
- it’s disrespectful
- I will punch you in the face
Simply because I am walking on a street does not mean that I want, deserve, or demand comments on…
twothree things, because this human being is just Not Getting It.
I agree that your body is not public property, but
That’s big of you. Really. You’re a big person for agreeing to that very basic tenet! Good on you. Also, do you know what? (x) I’m pretty sure that’s true in this case, too.
…in commenting on your appearance he was in no way violating your self-ownership. I can remark on the sky? Does that imply that I own the sky? Of course not. I can comment on a car. Should my comment be interpreted as staking claim to the car? Also, no. Commenting on the aesthetic of something is not an ownership claim, and I see no reason why people would be exempt from that rule of thumb.
So, women are like cars, or like the sky. Things. That you feel you can comment on. To their faces. You know, the sky doesn’t have a face. Cars don’t have faces. People have faces, though. And I would never, ever, ever tell some random woman “~cute” to her face at 1am. It’s obviously a douche-move that carries behind it all the power and implications of rape culture.
Icing on the cake, though? This:
but your comedic overreaction to the situation makes you entirely unsympathetic.
oh, tone arguments are so 2006.
I’m sorry, what? So, what about men that you comment on? All the woman I know will comment on men or woman that they think are attractive. That is how we find partners. We compliment them and charm them.
Sure, he was creepy, that probably just means he is socially awkward. You called him an asshole, he fucked off. Great. He knows you aren’t interested, and exhibited the correct response to that.
Men can comment on woman, as woman can comment on men. (and men on men, woman on woman, genderqueer on anybody, anybody on genderqueer, Iono) It’s when you say you aren’t interested and they keep on bugging you that the problem arises.
Genuinely, I felt you overreacted originally, but I understood how you felt. This is a bit insane. Also, animals have faces. you tell animals cute to their face. I tell my rat he is cute all the fucking time. Am I objectifying him? No, no I am not. He is not an object. He has a face and I tell him he is cute. If I see a cute dog in the park, I will ask the owner if I am allowed to pet him/her, and then pet said dog, and call them cute and so on.
I just.. argh. People have every right to comment on other people. You commented on that creepy guy. You called him an asshole. I just called him creepy. It’s what we do, as people.
I’m not saying you can’t comment on people — I comment on hot actors and actresses I’ll never meet all the time. I tell my friends they’re cute, the hot shit, adnasuem. That’s a mile away from commenting on an unknown person to their face — especially at 2am while alone. This simply can’t be taken out of its context: a male-dominated society.
To make this clearer: I would never go up to a random man in the middle of the street in broad daylight and say “hey hottie.” Friend, sure. Now, even if I did do that, it probably wouldn’t be taken as aggressive or invasive by the majority of men — I’m short and never lifted a weight a day in my life. I still wouldn’t do it though, because I don’t know him and don’t want to be a fucking douche. So I cannot see how you fail to understand that the unfortunate societal difference in social status and difference in physical ability make this sort of thing fucking creepy as hell, and something assholes to do reassure themselves they can say and do anything they want to women.
….that was me being nice. Then I read the rest of what you had to say.
I tell my rat he is cute all the fucking time. Am I objectifying him? No, no I am not. He is not an object.
I’m glad you realize that women aren’t objects like the sky, and instead are like your rat. Really. So glad. Ladies, we’re moving on up!
Yeah, sorry about that. I thought you were the OP.
Um, okay, the rat thing wasn’t fully thought out, and rather sleep deprived-ly written.
First things first though; I am a woman. Don’t you dare suggest I am saying that woman (or men) are worth less than an animal, or equal to an animal. They may be worth more on a personal level (eg, somebody who I don’t like is worth less to me than my pet rat, no matter their gender), but humans are, in general, worth kind of more than other animals.
The argument Iw as trying to make was that having a face isn’t special, and that commenting on something with a face is not objectifying. Saying “my god, you’re cute!” is not objectifying, whether you say it to a woman, man, rat, dog, fish, whatever (unless it is said in such a way that it is, like in a derogatory way, but yknow.)
I’m still kind of not understanding why you thought I am a man. Maybe it’s the whole nerd-ness and being in the process of obtaining a computer science degree, and not agreeing 100% with all feminists who ever existed. I’ll try and be more womanly, yeah? Do an arts degree, go and work in a flower shop :D
standing woman in red - egon schiele 1913
Go Tumblr, help me remember art pieces!
Here’s my body in the harsh light of day (some lines may come from the Venetian blinds though). It feels weird to look at it. I’m not used to how my boobs look. But my boyfriend thinks it’s beautiful, and it’s my body. I do see some strange beauty in it.
Also I have no nipples, just that Paint-like color instead of areola. ;)
ew/ why would anyone post a pic of themselves like this. maybe as a before and after pic. thanks for bringing up my breakfast.
You’re welcome. If you’re so disgusted by “fat”, or “fat bellies”, or whatever, then why are you searching for those tags? And why would you post pictures in your own blog that disgust you?
This is a fat acceptance blog and I will post pictures of myself as a point. Many people consider this beautiful, but it’s also about claiming your space in the world. “This is the way I am right now, for better or for worse.” I hope you’ll be able to say that one day about your body.
Yo, ballerina-bones: First, fuck you. Second, this is my friend. She is beautiful inside and out and is one of the kindest people I know. She would never, ever, tell someone that they were disgusting because of how they look, and that is because she is a bigger person than the majority of people I know, and I don’t mean that in terms of body size. Also, her body is damn fine. You need to step off my friend.
I’d like to echo Kelton on this one and tell you to go fuck yourself ballerina-bones. Even when I was in the depths of my eating disorder I never would have said anything like this to anyone. Just because you’re miserable, don’t try to make everyone else around you miserable too.
Ballerina-bones: at least she is comfortable in her own skin, unlike you, who feels the need to comment about her size. You are the ugly one here. This girl is beautiful. Maybe not society’s fucked up view of beautiful, but nonetheless, beautiful.
I’m not the only one with the view of this being gross and im sorry i find obesity something that should not be admired and you shouldnt like your body if its covered in fat. you should go out there and get a healthy body for you and the people who have to look at you. i like my body. probably because i never let it get fat and disgusting. :) i never called this girl ugly but haha if you think i am i dont give a fuck. you shouldnt either. BYEE!!! hahah
LOLYEAH. Kay. I’m a big girl. Always have been. I eat less then my friend who weight a fucktonne less then me. I’m not built to have A-cup boobs and no hips, I’m built to have F-cups and child bearing hips (ahh, irony.) Deniselle is beautiful, every fuckin’ part of her, especially her confidence. Look at your blog, with your shit about “YOUR FAT” “LOSE WEIGHT”, and what not. It doesn’t look like the blog of a confident, happy person. I’m in a happy relationship with a gorgeous partner, have been for nearly three and a half fuckin’ years. I’m big. Get the fuck over yourself, and let people post photos of themselves, you don’t need to be under sixty kilos to feel gorgeous. (I mean, come on, look at marilyn monroe, she was a size sixteen, and fuckin’ sexy.)